Monday Musings: A Question for the Russo Brothers

Welcome to ‘Monday Musings’!

A new segment from Teenplicity, ‘Monday Musings’ will explore personal interests and thoughts in a multitude of ways. Whether it be through lists, fan interaction, or discussion posts, each week will offer a different topic and new perspective from Teenplicity about what is on our mind. The range of topics, just like our interests, will be vast. Some might be familiar, as it could highlight previous feature stars, while others will discuss uncharted subjects for Teenplicity. They might be fun posts with a silly twist or a more serious discussion about something that could concern you.

The goal is for Teenplicity to become more engaged and involved with our readers. The Teenplicity Team is made up of fans, just like you. Let us know what you care about – a show, a film, music, an event or aspect of your life. There are no limits for what can be explored in ‘Monday Musings’ or how we present it to you.

Dear Russo Brothers,

Why didn’t the Avengers just try chopping off Thanos’ arm?

TRIGGER WARNING FOR TALK OF GETTING RID OF AN ARM. Also for some super terribly amazingly done drawings.

Avengers: Infinity War is undoubtedly one of the most successful films of all time. It is the very climax of the overarching story that the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been building and developing for the last ten years.

The film finds everyone’s beloved heroes separated across the galaxy as their most formidable foe yet comes into play. They will do everything they can to protect the people of Earth and to prevent Thanos from executing his plan. (Pun intended.)

~Spoiler alert~

The Avengers fail, Thanos succeeds, and half of all living beings vanish in a snap. Literally.

The main goal of the third act, after Thanos has acquired nearly all of the Infinity Stones, is to keep Thanos from closing his glove and harnessing each of the stones’ powers. With a plan in place that nearly succeeded if it had not been for that pesky thing called human emotional and natural reaction, audiences watched some of the heroes in a mad dash to pull the glove off of Thanos’ giant hand.

As stated above, this fails. But it honestly left me thinking of a way around things.

I get they want the gauntlet off of Thanos’ hand but… why not just try chopping off his arm altogether?

Listen, this would solve a lot of problems at once. One, the gauntlet is essentially useless to Thanos at the moment. Once that arm is severed from his body, he has no control over it. Even a severe enough cut or partial removal would render it too injured to use. Two, if the arm is cut off above the elbow like I imagine, the gauntlet is pretty useless again because it’s obviously specified to just his left hand. That thing isn’t moving in both directions like the thin winter gloves we buy for a few bucks. So he can’t even turn around, grab it, and put it on his right hand because it wouldn’t work!!! Three, getting rid of his arm would leave him weak and in pain and honestly make him an easier target to kill/destroy/restrain. Dude would be too shocked that it happened to comprehend someone coming at him from behind and bam, over.

Since I anticipate the possibility of certain people not taking the lighthearted (yet totally, completely, and unquestionably serious) take of this post, here’s some things to back up my take and some possibilities for it to go down.

DISCLAIMER: For the purposes of staying in the realm of possibility of this being an alternative take in the movie, the following options will only concern the capabilities and presence of those present on Titan during this scene.

Option One 

tony and thanos

Tony is brilliant. Obviously Shuri is the smartest person in the MCU but Tony is undeniably the second smartest, and it’s something he’d probably be totally fine with too. But his tech is incredible.

Nanobots are the driving force behind his new suit and their power is unmatched. I mean, they literally withstood a blast from an Infinity Stone. Seriously. His tech withstood a blast from the POWER STONE. You know, that thing that can totally destroy an entire planet or civilizations with a blast?

And it is with Tony’s tech that they are able to get the first drop of blood from Thanos.

So hear me out… Tony’s tech could totally cut off the arm of Thanos. Or you know, slice his neck but we’ll try to keep it a little less deadly? Probably not less graphic but less deadly. All they really needed is the softest spot on his arm that’ll be easiest to get through and bam! Have the other Avenges hold Thanos down, get Mantis to use her powers to calm/incapacitate him, and then with Tony’s tech, create a sword (similar to the one he got stabbed with) and bring it down onto the purple giant.

The element of surprise would work in their favor here. I mean, clearly, Thanos is trying to close his fist as everything is going down. It’s the main way of how he can utilize the powers of the Infinity Gauntlet. So he’s going to be trying to close his fist so they can’t pull the gauntlet off his hand. But he wouldn’t expect them to chop off his arm.

Listen, he thinks they just want the gauntlet and then they’ll figure out what to do with him later. None of them are actively trying to kill Thanos in this situation. So they would have surprise on their side as, while trying to pull off the gauntlet (clearly a diversion in this case or a backup plan), then come in and BAM. Bye, bye Thanos’ left arm.

Problem solved. The arm is gone, Thanos can’t use the gauntlet at all, and the universe is saved.

I know there’s definitely going to be some people that bring up Thanos’ “invincible skin” as a matter of fact but it’s very obviously not invincible as Tony was able to cut his cheek. We’ll leave out the fact of Stormbreaker nearly killing Thanos as that was a weapon created for that purpose. But seriously. Tough skin? Yeah. Very, very tough skin? Duh. Invincible skin? No.

Drax even came behind Thanos, slashed his knife against the back of his leg, and caused the titan to yell out in pain. While audiences didn’t see the damage done to that leg, one can assume that it’s possible Drax injured him. I mean, he even goes for that same leg to kick out when it comes to subduing Thanos. I don’t think the titan would have gone down as easily without that slash.

And if Gamora’s vision when Thanos used the Reality Stone is plausible, he can be stabbed, in the chest and neck, under his jaw. (Yes, this all could be a specially crafted vision that he created for Gamora since he knew she would come but considering the fact he raised her as his daughter, wouldn’t one believe that she knew he could be wounded and where he’d be weak?)

One could even bring up how Thanos is super strong and essentially unbeatable with all the stones. Which I get. But at the same time, even with all the Infinity Stones, Steve Rogers was still able to hold his own and hold back Thanos for a few hot seconds there. Super soldier serum is clearly no match for aliens and it doesn’t make Steve Rogers the strongest man in the universe but if he could hold off this dude while he had all six stones, then ideally a weaker Thanos on Titan would be able to be held off/hurt. We didn’t see that play out in the film at all, but I’m using this in support of my “Tony chops off Thanos arm” theory.

So, yeah. Tony’s nanobots could create a sword or knife or whatever you want to call this special sharp weapon and just… off Thanos’ arm. Clearly, it would have instantly worked. Obviously.

 

Option Two

nebula and thanos

Why. Didn’t. Doctor. Strange. Send. Thanos. Arm. Into. The. Portal. And. Then. Close. The. Portal.

Okay we literally saw this one happen with some of the minions in the beginning of the movie, courtesy of Wong. So I Googled a bunch to obviously see why this stroke of genius did not occur. The only two plausible answers that Marvel fans could agree on would be that Thanos could use the stones to prevent this portal injury from happening or that of the 14 million plus possibilities that Doctor Strange saw, this didn’t work out in any of them.

Let’s just imagine that the second opinion didn’t exist as, clearly it’s the reason why this didn’t happen in the film but as for WHY it is that way, we don’t know (hint hint it’s because it’d be anticlimactic and they wouldn’t be able to drag out the film).

We already saw that Doctor Strange attempted to trap Thanos in the mirror dimension and failed. So let’s just imagine for a moment that the portal trip could work.

Dealing with the first resolution means just changing the point of attack. This is a strategy that has been proven effective as shown in New York. The basis of it is similar to the basis of the original plan that they had. Do what they must to get control of Thanos and have Mantis use her power to calm and incapacitate him.

From there, Doctor Strange would open up a portal right in front of Thanos’ arm, with another member of the team waiting elsewhere on Titan or maybe even on Earth (because portal, duh, that’s how they’d get there). While Thanos is incapacitated, the group would then move or pull him forward until his arm, and by extension the gauntlet, is through the portal. Once that happens, BAM! Portal is closed, Thanos loses his arm, and the world is safe. They can think up how to destroy the gauntlet later but obviously the most important aspect is getting it out of Thanos’ hands.

Clearly this would have been the best, easiest, and quickest solution to defeating Thanos but then we wouldn’t have Avengers: Endgame! So, good times.

 

Option Three

ant man and thanos

Thanus.

I get it, it’s a popular theory, it’s totally something that could happen. It wasn’t logical for the fight on Titan simply because Ant-Man wasn’t there but I put this on the list because some of the stuff I’ve seen fans come up with regarding this has me like what the f—

ANYWAY. Clearly the truly smart decision regarding this would be to have Ant-Man shrink in size, crawl up Thanos’ ear canal, then expand while in his head. You’re welcome.

Stop with the nasty stuff. No. pls. I beg of thee.

***

Side note: Brie totally picked up on my inspiration of the Thumbs from Spy Kids when it came to drawing Thanos. So it’s agreed they’ll probably defeat Thanos. Teenplicity told you first.

Dear Russo Brothers,

Can you agree with this ranked list of those who should defeat Thanos?

 

The Only Legitimate Ranking of Who Should Be the One to Defeat Thanos

1.      Nebula. Thanos is sick and twisted and she’s been tortured and ripped apart for so much of her life because of his demented ways of raising and training her and Gamora.

2.      Gamora. Again, regarding Thanos. Though her punishments were less severe, it was only because she fought so she wouldn’t have to go through them, even if that meant Nebula did. Like I said, Thanos is twisted. He pit his two daughters against each other and no matter how well they did or what they’ve accomplished or how they’ve grown, someone would always be punished and get hurt.

3.      Thor. Dude literally fought Thanos and lost and had to watch one of his most trusted friends and advisors die and also watch his brother Loki be choked to death, after having the remaining of his people be slaughtered.

4.      Drax. Similar to the above, Thanos is the cause for major trauma in his life. Similar to how Gamora’s home planet was treated in regards to his population control plan, Thanos came to Drax’s planet with that idea still in mind. Drax found himself on the opposite side of his family, ultimately losing his wife and daughter. All because of Thanos.

5.      Tony Stark. Less personal than the other ones but all of Tony’s problems regarding his PTSD and anxiety relate back to Thanos and him sending Loki to Earth. Seriously. “Thanos has been inside my head for six years since he sent an army to New York,” Tony says in Avengers: Infinity War. This internal battle and torture that he’s been dealing with for years finds its roots in Thanos and I’m all here for him destroying Thanos too.

6.      Vision? Wanda? Question marks are present because while they do have a more personal connection to Thanos than the rest of the Avengers, it’s not quite as strong as the previous team members. Vision is literally a machine/AI/thing and so yeah, it sucks that Thanos taking the Mind Stone destroys him but he’s also… not a real person? He’s a complicated topic. Wanda is on the same level of reasoning just because her powers came from the stones, she had to destroy the Mind Stone (which ultimately kills her boyfriend), and has to deal with the emotional torment of seeing it happen again as Thanos reverses time. While she is the only person to welcome Thanos’ snap with open arms and a small bit of a smile, she still deserves to get some kind of revenge for putting her through everything else.

7.      Clint. Thanos killed his family in the snap? That’s all I’ve got. I feel bad sticking him in #8 but yeah. Avenge the fam? Also he was under the influence of the Space Stone so there’s that too.

8.      Literally all of the other Avengers. None of them, to the best of my recollection, have a direct connection to Thanos or his powers. They’re all there fighting for the good of humanity and being good people and superheroes and that’s good. I mean, it would really stink if any of them actually defeated Thanos instead of any of numbers one through five simply because those people/Avengers have been affected the most by his plans and actions. So here’s hoping that those ones get a large part in Thanos’ demise. And I guess we’ll let the rest of the group help out too.

Did you like ‘Monday Musings’? If so, you’re in luck! Each week, Teenplicity will feature a new ‘Monday Musings’ post about things we are looking forward to, topics close to our hearts, or suggestions from readers!

Do you have a suggestion for ‘Monday Musings’? You can let Teenplicity know what you’d like to see on Twitter or anonymously on Tumblr! Or you can directly contact Mary Ayers on Twitter and anonymously on Tumblr or Brie Garrett on Twitter and Tumblr

24. Television and radio production graduate. || I think some people underestimate the range and variety of things that interest younger generations. I'm determined not to.

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